Emotions....

I'm sitting beside Mark...he's sleeping. He has been prepped in multiple ways and as each item was checked off the list, his anxiety grew stronger. For someone who has never really had surgery, this is beyond HUGE! As most of you know, Mark's phrase is, "I don't do doctors"!

This morning as the clock ticked towards his departure time and nerves seemed to become more and more unsteady with each second, a PA came in to let us know that his surgery may need to be put off until Friday. Details are really irrelevant, something to do with scheduling of the single, multi-million dollar robot used to perform this type of bypass surgery.....About 20 minutes later, the nurse comes in saying she got the call that they would be up to get him soon....okay, so we are doing this we all thought! Another 2 days of waiting, seemed impossible to Mark!

Pre-Op is an emotional place. So many sights, sounds, people, anxiety. We spent just a moment with him there then followed instructions and made our way to the surgery waiting area. After 15 minutes or so, we were each allowed to go back and see him and began the whole farewell process. After an emotional parting, I sat in the hallway watching so many people hurrying along, yet feeling like the world had almost stopped spinning where I was sitting. It was heavy!

After 15 minutes or so, my buzzer went off again and I was told to go back to Mark. After several minutes with him we were informed again that the morning surgery requiring the robot had gone long and that, if they could do his case today it would be about 3 hours of waiting still.

So here, I sit, flooded with emotions, waiting....Praying....waiting. being encouraged by all the comments, calls, texts, yet feeling overwhelmed at responding right now. Just know that God is using each of you in a great way to strengthen me today and help us all through this rough terrain. It is 3:15 and the nurse just told us the surgery was going well and that Mark's case is still on....for the moment. We aren't sure how to feel, we feel like yo-yo's so far and are afraid to embrace this news just yet.....

Whirlwind ~

Whirlwind - not a word I use often, but one that I feel like I have experienced today. Above everything else though, your prayers have definitely helped sustain us today and we are so grateful!!

The day started out with a lot of anticipation and a lot of waiting. At 10:05am we got the word that a bed was available at Emory. It took about an hour to get transport, paperwork done and everything unhooked and loaded up. Once we arrived, the process seemed much better already! Mark was in a holding room for the procedure and I got to go back to him shortly after he got settled in. As the nurse came in and out, he repeatedly talked about Mark's "angioplasty". We were a bit shocked as his certainty of the procedure, but he assured us that is what Mark was here for, not just a heart cath. Someone even said, you'll be going home tomorrow evening. We were incredibly excited about all of this!!

The Dr. that performed the procedure came in and spoke freely of angioplasty as well. I actually asked him, if bypass was in the picture, simply because that and angioplasty were the 2 options that were given to us at the end of the first heart cath. He said, well, no angioplasty should be fine.....After 5 minutes or so, the Dr. came back in, but with a of a different spin on the procedure. He said we may need several different options...last resort would be bypass though. He said bypass was not something you ever want to do on someone in their 30's.

One beautiful moment was when they said Trenton could go back and see Daddy before they took him back! It was great for both of them to see each other. As soon as T saw his Daddy, he said, "Daddy, all better". It was great! We all headed to the waiting room to wait.....

After 45 minutes or so, they called us back, I didn't know how to feel, it didn't take a super long time, so maybe this was good, but then I just didn't know. We met Mark in the hallway, and the Dr's were standing there with him. Then they began talking and talking and talking. I heard them and knew what they were saying but it felt like it must not be real....I honestly felt like, well know that God had an angel standing beside me! Helping me hold it together and take in all that I needed to hear.

It's a long story...so fast forward to 8:45pm. Here we sit, in information overload, unsure of the time of the procedure and really of all that's ahead. Sometime tomorrow, Mark will have Robotic Bypass surgery to replace the descending portion of the Left Main Artery. On Friday, he will have a procedure to stent the Right Main and Circumflex Arteries. We are hoping and praying for a restful evening (Mark is feeling more anxious than ever tonight), a textbook procedure tomorrow, an amazing recovery and a quick discharge date!!

I know this road is bumpy and certainly not easy, but it's not impossible!

Final Night!

We are eating a snack! Mark can't have anything to eat or drink after midnight so we just had a little snack together. His Ambien is on it's way and we will soon be snoozing....hopefully!

There are definitely some nerves about tomorrow (the heart cath and then just the waiting to hear the results and whatever the outcome may be....), but we are ready to get this process going. It is tough not knowing when we'll leave and when the procedure will actually take place, but we had a great time talking together about all of this craziness this afternoon and several good prayers as well as great visits with family and a few friends and we are ready. Now we may wake up in the morning and feel completely different.... actually we probably will, but we know that our strength doesn't come from our own heart or mind, but from God.

I will tweet info as soon as I know more and can, and that will show up on FB as well! It has been a beautiful thing to watch Christians coming together and truly living and loving like the "family" God created and desires us to be. Thank you is so inadequate, but THANK YOU for your prayers, and everything else! Goodnight~

Day of Rest???

Mark had a tiring day of rest, but it was oh, so worth it!! Thanks to everyone who was able to make it by and to all of those who FB or Tweeted, texted or called and mostly to everyone who prayed!!

I'm not going to lie, the day started out ROUGH! Very unfriendly hospital staff woke us up to start the day....we were both still feeling the stress of the staff's lack of compassion from Saturday night and were probably a little oversensitive. It wasn't the best start, either way :) Then Mark began having some pressure, not quite to chest pain, but definite pressure and even shortness of breath. They took it VERY seriously, and in Mark's opinion, "totally overreacted".....hahaha! There's no chances being taken about his heart...and that's the way it should be! He also began feeling well, just, down. Who wouldn't?? We're human! There are people groaning and yelling out all around you, serious emergencies - not to mention, no one ever envisions themself in this position, but certainly not at such a young age.

Of course, when he feels something, so do I. All of this added up to an emotional morning!

God knew what we needed though and thanks to the prayers from everyone!! The nurse made a complete change in her attitude/compassion towards us. It was so refreshing and I saw it as a total answer to prayer. The day got better and better for Mark!

The night wasn't as restful for him and this morning he has again been feeling pressure and a little difficulty breathing. Nitro drip was increased and he is sleeping now. Hoping to get to visit with a few friends again this afternoon! He is limited somewhat on visitors, so shoot me a text/FB/DM me on Twitter to find out details of visiting.

I have a specific prayer request today. We are still praying all of those things from Saturday, but as his time here at Henry comes to an end, we welcome that and look forward to the next step, but he also feels nervous. There's uncertainty about what will follow the heart cath and he needs peace and assurance from God that can satisfy and calm like no other person or drug.

At this moment I'm holding this close - "praying that God's peace will guard our hearts and our minds!"

The waiting...

I wrote this Saturday evening, but we had some issues getting food for Mark, so I dropped this and took care of that and so finally here I am posting this blog at 4:30am Sunday....

"Well, A LOT has happened since my last blog! I'm sitting here in the waiting room (thankful for the little things like WiFI, my sweater and lenient nurses that usually let me stay on after visiting hours....)

For those who haven't heard, the stress test (last Thursday) was, well too stressful! After only 3 minutes on the treadmill the Dr. had Mark taken off. Nitroglycerin administered and a few minutes of rest before continuing with a chemical stress test. I didn't realize, but a stress test includes a set of nuclear-type scans pre and post actual "stress test". Even the pre scan was abnormal, but the post scan showed definite problems and he was taken by ambulance to the hospital from Locust Grove Dr's office. We were told he would be observed in CCU and would undergo a Heart Cath Friday morning.

Mark felt some serious anxiety about the test, but the experience itself was far better than what he imagined. The 6 hours of no movement following the cath, a different story, but today has been better. There have been other obstacles along the way nosebleeds (one more than 4 hours long!), nausea and headaches...but we know that God has been with us in every moment. Last night we were reminded of how much worse some people in rooms around us have it and thanked God for His grace.

This morning, Mark & I had a good time just talking about the crazy ride we're on...we can see God's protection on us already and although so many things are uncertain right now, we know that He isn't uncertain and He is in control!

The road ahead....the heart cath showed significant coronary artery disease that has been present for much of his life and clots in one of the larger arteries on the right side of his heart as well as several arteries with blockages. For 72 hours he is on a specific medication to try and open up some blockages and get rid of the clots....the positive in the findings is that because this is chronic, and because God created us so amazingly, his heart has formed some new little arteries to try and bypass the damaged ones. Even better is that his heart muscle appears to be great, very strong and no damage!! This will help with recovery and just continuing to have a great quality to his life, actually it will probably be better because he'll be getting the blood flow he needs without causing his heart to work so hard for it!

The plan, try to sneak Trenton in to see him as much as possible!! Seriously, we were able to get him in this afternoon, but won't attempt it again. I caused quite a stir, but it was worth it for Mark and T to see each other!! Sometime Tuesday, once the 72 hour drug is complete, he will be transferred to Emory, where they will do another heart cath. Treatment will be based on the amount of change brought on by the medications.

Ways to pray for us....

1. Encouragement! For Mark especially!

2. Good results from the medication.

3. Peace for Trenton-he knows something is wrong and it's uber hard for this Mommy to leave him for so long (although I'm incredibly blessed to have Mom here taking care of him)!

4. Strength for Mark, today he was feeling weak.

5. Rest for us all!

I do feel so torn! I love my boys more than anything in this world and having them so far apart is not easy. I cry leaving each of them...I'm definitely looking to God, leaning on all the encouragement and support and taking things day by day.

Results....and more results.

So, I haven't forgotten my blog! Life has been super busy over the past week.....

To recap - Surgery - Wednesday, recovery - Thursday...head to Daphne, AL - Thursday night, day with my family and Mark's - Friday, celebrating my sweet Sister's birthday (we spend the day on the water at the beach and it was heavenly!) - Saturday....got in about 1am, church Sunday morning and a worship appreciation cook-out at our house Sunday night with about 30 people here. Then my little Parker arrived, bright and early, Monday morning....well, not bright, it was 4am!!

That was just the weekend...I won't bore you with the week so far....

The results! Well, I spoke with the Doctor's office today. It's good and bad. Nothing major or immensely serious, actually, the biopsies showed nothing outside of normal limits. Okay, so that's great! But the problem still persists....he's been having 7-8 poops, almost everyday since Wednesday - and the abnormal tissue??? We go back to the Dr. in 2 weeks, to sit down and start again. Try to figure out another method to try or maybe another test....

In the midst of all that's been going on with T, Mark has been having some unresolved kidney problems. To prevent this from being terribly long and boring, he has also been having some heart issues as well (he'll probably kill me for blogging this....) which he just told me about - Let me get on a "soap box" If there are any men reading this...please don't try to be the man of steel or stone or wood or whatever it is that you're impressed with - take care of yourself and don't be afraid to talk to your spouse, parents or whomever it may be that loves you so much and won't think less of you for saying something may need to be checked out! Okay, over that ;) I love you Markus and I appreciate you being open and honest with me about this whole deal-once you came clean ;)!! Many tests were performed today, some with abnormal results, and he's having a stress test in the morning.

Please pray with us about all these situations regarding the health of my family! I appreciate it more than I can possibly express! All the scriptures, quotes and old wives tales about times of trial have been playing over and over in my head, but the biggest thing I'm holding onto is that God is sovereign! If you've never really studied or looked into the true meaning of that, DO IT! It will rock your world! We think is such a one-dimensional way but God sees, knows, understands, feels, protects, surrounds, carries, directs and loves in a way our humanity can't fully understand! I'm reminding myself of that in the tense moments which seem to be often, but not overwhelming. These lyrics come to me often...."there's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail, there's an anchor for my soul, I can say, it is well. Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed, victory is won, He is risen from the dead"

Yay, God! Am I nervous, sure, I'm human. But does is consume me, not when I stay in touch with my sovereign friend and Savior!! Don't try to be supernatural, talk to God about your worries, concerns, fears, whatevers, then let Him take over all those emotions and walk in the peace that He freely gives!!

Trenton's Surgery

A huge THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed with us and for us today! We have felt the results of those prayers!

For those who don't know what's been going on with Trenton, here's a little history....

About 3 weeks after his 1st birthday, he began having GI problems. These have continued for the past 10 months. After trying a number of different things as well as various tests, the next step was to get inside of him and take a look on a naked eye level, but also on a microscopic level.

After a 24 hour fast (very hard to explain to a 21 month old that you can't give him any food...), and 2 rounds of "cleaning out" (enema's are not welcome anywhere near T now! Of course are they really welcomed by anyone?? He knows the box now!) he underwent upper endoscopy with biopsies taken from esophagus, stomach and the 1st portion of his small intestine. He was also scheduled for a colonoscopy while under anesthesia. The Dr. did find some unusual tissue there so they took 8 biopsies from his colon as well. He was definitely not digging all the strangers and weird things they had to do in pre-op....hard for Mommy to see, but he did just fine through the entire process. Coming out of anesthesia has been a little rough, his throat is definitely sore from the breathing tube and scope, but he has been resting all afternoon and we are looking forward to our trip to Daphne this weekend!

We know that God is in control of every situation, and I definitely had to remind myself of that fact, often, throughout this entire process. I had a bit of a meltdown Tuesday afternoon, but after a little chat with God, I began feeling more confident once again. I also really appreciate the encouragement from my Mom, my Mommy friends and for Ruthie coming over Tuesday night!! Also, thankful for Mark, for being supportive of me and also for being open about his own feelings about the surgery. He's a wonderful husband and daddy. We are encouraged that the Dr. was able to see something with the naked eye and are believing that the microscope will give specific results so that we can get Trenton over this completely. I continue to pray that God heal him completely and if he continues to use Dr. Patel or just chooses to take this away supernaturally we will trust Him and thank Him for healing either way!

We should begin getting results back from the biopsies in about a week, so I will update after we meet with the Dr. and have some answers. We really appreciate our very special friends Ryan & Caitlyn for being there for us through this mystery and for being with us in the waiting room as well as for Pastor Chris and Lisa for making the journey up to the Surgery Center too! It meant so very much to me and to Mark as well! We love and appreciate you all!