So, I'm still trying to set up payment plans and work out insurance issues on multiple bills and this morning I really had a melt-down over it all. Everyone says, oh as long as you pay them something you can't be punished or pursued or whatever. So, maybe I'm being pushed around or maybe because times have changed and the economical situation freaks everyone out the rules have changed....either way, I really let it get to me earlier! I called one office and she was very forward, and said, "So are you going to do $100 a month or more??" Really, well, if I only had to pay that one office off, sure, but I have 8 or 10 more that I need to make arrangements with, so no, I can't do $100 or more... I felt like I should be the one being a little more forward on the next call, so I didn't wait to be asked, I just offered, $50 a month (really, more than I wanted to offer, but I guess I was feeling prideful and ashamed to say $20 or $25 a month). He informs me that, $50 a month isn't an option. Uhhhh, what?! Then, in a very polite way, he explains that they are not allowed to take a bill out through a payment plan for longer than 12 months and he is supposed to push for it to be payed off in 4 months (Not likely, brother! :). Basically, they will just send you to collections immediately if you don't commit to an amount that will pay it off in the required time AND if you commit, but then don't pay that amount, off you go still...OH DEAR! As I hung up, I just laid my head on the kitchen table - feeling sorry for myself and overwhelmed too...then I felt two sweet little hands touch my leg, heard little feet walking around and then a little voice say, Mommy, what ya doin?
The bills are still sitting there, but I had a quick reality check that the most important things are not laying on the table, but walking around, playing and wanting to be hugged and loved on! I know that the doctors that took care of Trenton and Mark are worthy of getting paid for the work they did. I don't discount that at all, but the way the situation was handled this morning made me think about, grace. Who in my life am I not giving the grace they deserve? God continually gives it to me even though I don't deserve it! Am I getting so caught up in things revolving around my life that I don't even see others reality? I hope that I can truly see people more like Christ does...see them completely and be open to working with them, even when it doesn't serve me or maybe even makes life a little inconvenient for me at the time.
Nothing Jesus did was through the mindset of how does this serve me, but always, how can I serve others!! I want to be more like that!!
