Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The Secret Place

I'm not always an open book...okay, I'm often not an open book. My husband and I are total opposites in that area. As with most everything in life, balance is what is needed and in my attempt to be more balanced, I'm being more transparent today. 

Life can be hard. Especially when the hard, goes on and on...You know we often go through a "hard time" but as we glance back, we see that time but can see before that time and remember that it was really such a small part of our life - just a moment in time. But, when you look back over the past months, even years and you see mostly hard times, life becomes more challenging. Trust me, I don't believe in living in the past, or even focusing on the past, but the past can, does & should shape us; for the good. The only way it can shape us for the good, is if we pull the good from it,  yet it will shape up for the bad if we focus on the wrong parts or just focus too much on the past altogether. So for me, this looking back is really like glancing in the rearview mirror.  I'm a mirror checker, though y'all!  I'm always checking my side & rear view mirrors when I'm driving and I live my life that way too. I want to be aware of my surroundings so I can learn from them, grow from them and be thankful for the things God spares me from & brings me through!

So I've been doing a lot of assessing of my life lately. Our family has been facing some challenging situations - really since the beginning of 2016. So not only have I been assessing these situations, but also, my heart, my relationship with God my Father, my response to Him & to these situations. I've discovered something about myself that is not what I hoped would be, yet provides opportunity for change and growth. 

You see, I have BIG FAITH. I have some of the best roles models. Men and women that have built an amazingly strong, Godly, faith-filled heritage for me to walk in. So when I look at the challenges that my family has been walking through, my faith is strong. It doesn't waiver. Do I have moments where I ask God, why? Yep! Do I have moments where I ask Him for just a little understanding? You bet! Do I have moments where I plead with Him for a brief reprieve from these things that feel so heavy? Absolutely! But through it all, I am confident that He knows the "why", that His ways are higher so it may not be humanly possible for me to understand and that He will bring reprieve, although He may bring it in a different way than I expect, because He knows what's best. 

Here's what I've got to change...the secret place. The place I run to when life gets overwhelming. When the waves are crashing over me so fast, that I fall again, before I ever make it to fully standing...when the quarters of the game are without a halftime or even a water break. The secret place is not a place to run to initially, then just stand out in the rain hoping that the prayers I prayed back "there" will sustain me in the downpour. The secret place is always there. It's the break my heart so desperately desires, even if for just a moment. It's the rest my mind needs when I've taken on more than I should. It's the answer to every question I may ask of God. It's the peace, the peace that most certainly passes my limited, understanding. It's the secret place, just me & my Heavenly Father. It's more than quiet time. It's more than my daily scripture or devotion reading. It's deep. It's refreshing. And it's not a place that I should visit only at the onset of a challenge. 

It is quite possible that in my walk with Christ, I have not fully-developed this practice yet, but for me, I have not been able to make it to the secret place each day. In fact, with the very best intentions & even a strong desire, I set my heart and mind to get there last night and the next thing I knew, I woke up and it was 3am!  But as I make the time to go there, more and more frequently, the path becomes clearer. When you walk through an untouched field for the first time, you path quickly becomes unrecognizable, but as you commit to walk that path more and more, the weeds and grasses in that path begin to lay down to your footsteps and you can reach the secret place with more ease & confidence. 

I pray that if you need answers, healing, hope or faith restored, that you'll make a path to the secret place with God, and go there often. I'll be there too!

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