Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Watch Out!

Laundry & Netflix. Any Mommas (or Dads) out there ever make use of that combo? Well that was me last weekend! An ever-growing mountain of laundry and the final message in a series by Steven Furtick called "Death to Selfie" consumed most of my Friday morning. I posted something I got from that message on SM, and it said this, "Your tears today can water the seed of your harvest tomorrow. #trustGod

You know so often, we either become consumed by our troubling or difficult situation or we go all "macho man" on it and push it away because we just don't want to have to deal with it. But it's okay to have tears; it's okay to have rain in our lives... Last night, Trenton had a football game and as I sat in the pouring rain, waiting to see my little guy run out on that field for a final play, my initial thoughts softened and changed. It was just rain, something we need. Nothing about that rain hurt me or altered my life physically, {although an umbrella would have been ideal} in fact it will bring good to the things around me...similarly, tears, can bring good, if we allow them. Instead of drowning in your tears or shutting them down completely, allow your heart to feel the entirety of a situation and through God's loving arms, gentle guidance or even strength to carry you, water some things in your life that He will use in your future! 

That message changed some perspectives in my life for the better, but I realized that there's another application of that statement, and it has to do with our children. In parenting we often want to take the tears out of life for our kids. Always, yelling watch out or trying to prevent every bike fall, friend disagreement, disciplinary action and on and on. I'm guilty and I've begun making the change to not remove all the tears. 

This morning, *Disclaimer: my Whitaker crew (big & little) isn't into mornings AT ALL...but I  really want a peaceful, smooth start to each day. Talk about THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!*  while getting ready for school, Kamdyn disobeyed. I even reminded her of the consequence (having her mouth washed out with soap) to continuing to choose that action ... aka in Parent Speak: please don't make me follow through or have to change this consequence. She did it anyway. I've been guilty of making excuses and "having" to change the consequence (i.e. we'll be late). Not today. I let go of my fear of starting her day off in tears and stuck to the action/consequence.

Now before you start throwing rotten tomatoes or begin thinking my mom skills have been flushed down the toilet, hear my heart. I love my kids with a fierce love. A love that will fight for them to no ends. A love that wants the very best for them and will be their advocate and protector without hesitation. Tim Elmore has a great study on parenting and he made a statement that has sunk deep into my heart... "We've done a better job of protecting than preparing". Wow. So true. How often have I tried to protect my kids from tears that could actually be watering a harvest in their life in the future?? 

Those tears brought about a lesson that will help her today, tomorrow and on into the future. They weren't the tears of simply not getting her way, they were actual tears of a consequence to her own action that she chose. Obviously, we have different parenting styles and that's okay. God knew the temperament of our children and He matched them up perfectly with our personalities and life experiences. You may discipline differently, but the truth is still the same. If you prepare your children, even if it means bringing out the tears, they will be more protected from whatever may come at them. Don't protect from the tears, prepare them so that if/when the tears come, they can water seeds in the future of your child's life or your own life!

  

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