Wheels

    Have you ever felt like you were in a season where at any moment, the wheels might fall off, but there was still so much road to travel?? It's one thing to travel hard and fast and arrive at your destination and then see you made it and your worked you vehicle to it's max capacity and boom, the wheels fall off as you pull into your destination. I'm pretty sure I've seen this on something my kids have watched somewhere along the way. Like BUgs Bunny or something...Well, that's where I found myself Saturday night. The waiting intensifies the nervous thoughts about the approaching surgery for both, Mark & myself. Our minds are powerful and although we trust our Maker, we're still human and that is why the Bible says to take every thought captive. It's often a moment by moment battle and one that most likely every person reading this is in, in one way or another. Don't give up taking those thoughts captive!

I spent Saturday night at home with all my kiddos and some of the truest friends we could ever have. Thank you! And while I'm here, thank you to those who have stayed with our kiddos. Who have not only made sure they were safe, but made sure they know they are loved. You know who you are and your reward will be great! Also, to those providing meals so that those keeping things running don't also have to worry about cooking. What a blessing you all are!  It was not my idea to stay at home, but Mark was right, after Saturday, I won't be running home freely. So I had a night to run errands, read to my kids, wash clothes, pay bills, prepare the house, pack for the next week....so many little things!  My mind was still in the hospital with Mark; my heart was loving on my Littles at home & not having to do all the adult things, but my body just wanted to go to bed - to rest, but also to shut out reality for a few minutes. In those moments for me, it's so easy to be overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed, if I'm not careful, I just sit down. I don't accomplish all that needs to be done or at least give it a go because the thought of all of it just seems too much....the wheels falling off with road left to travel, kind of feeling!

I've found that most stressful times, such as what we're in right now, bring me to this place of needing to constantly remind myself of John 14:1  “Don’t let this throw you. You trust God, don’t you? Trust me." I often, even in everyday life, think about Matthew 11:30, "For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."  But what about those times when you feel you are truckin' down the road He put you on, you are living out the destiny He created you for and you feel as if you have taken His yoke, yet it seems too hard to carry, like the wheels are about to fly off?? I certainly don't have all the answers, but one thing I've learned is there is and will always be a gap between our humanity and the perfection of God, so anytime there is a struggle to carry what's been placed on us, it's an opportunity for us to close that gap just a little. An opportunity to evaluate our hearts and see what areas our trust can grow. These times can be like a pressure cooker and can do more in a short time to grow our faith or strain our faith, and the outcome is truly up to us. I believe that our choice in these times is often what makes us more or less aware of the yoke. Something else I've learned is to just speak your your own heart and remind yourself that if you've traded your yoke for His, then He is keeping you and holding things up that you may never know about and that He is truly holding the real weight of the struggle. He is interceding for us in the throne room of Heaven and that knowledge in itself helps you carry the burden and keeps those wheels rolling until you reach the place of rest that God has already planned for you!  

Thankfully Mark has had fairly uneventful days here in the hospital. No struggle to breath, no pressure in his chest, no extreme exhaustion - all things that he had been dealing with. When you look at the image from the heart cath, it is SO evident of God's protection and keeping in Mark and our family's life! Today, Sunday is a day that we are just determining to breathe. To enjoy all the moment together, to laugh, to trust. We are setting aside time this afternoon for our families, particularly our kids and we ask that we have time just for them. We still don't have any definite on surgery schedule, but it's looking more likely that it will be sometime tomorrow morning. We ask you to cover our kids & parents, cover our hearts from overwhelming fear and cover the medical team in prayer!  We're so thankful for every person that is walking this journey with us through prayer and encouragement!!